Hotel Star Ratings. Open for Interpretation.

I have no idea who set the standard for hotel ratings by the 5-star system, but its definitely open for interpretation. And from one traveler out there ... here's the real deal. 

Based on my most recent hotel experiences its safe to say that under 4-stars you'll need to arm yourself with flip-flops and Febreeze.

One Star: Sleep outside UNDER the starts and snuggle with local vagrants
Two Stars: Roof and a bed with possible roomates (i.e. of the squeeky wisker variety). Possible neighbors: hookers and migrant workers

Time for an upgrade?

Three Starts: Roof and a bed, with clean sheets. But still questionable ... who exactly stays here, that isn't staying over?

Three 1/2 Stars: Roof, bed, clean sheets and bonus of a bacteria infested "whirlpool" just a little PERK for you, and if you're lucky ... a snack for later (a walnut on the floor)

So, all I can say ... is OPT-UP! Dear GOD, opt-up!

For less accurate hotel star-ratings check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotel_rating 

Table for One ... DENIED

Recently, I geared up to take a vacation alone. I'm more of a people person than a single-lady traveler but, off I go into the wild blue yonder.

The first few days were a confirmation that traveling solo isn't so bad. You get to do EXACTLY what YOU want to do. No compromises. And its all yours to enjoy as you wish. Now when it came to dining alone, this was the thing I was worried about. BUT ... it was great. No one looked at my like I had antenna, or gave me a sad look and there was always, but ALWAYS room for one. Until ...

My second stop along the travel trail was speckled with sundrops along the ocean water, palm tree lined streets, but NO tables for one.

"One for dinner please ... a table, a spot at the bar, whatever you have", I said with a winning smile.

"No. Nothing for ONE. It'll be about an hour."

OK ... well bad luck but on to the next place.

"No. Nothing for ONE."
Seriously? OK, third time's the charm.
Fourth time?

I pass Taco Bell and the local Liquor Mart ... I think ... heck is that my best option for a Table for One, tonight? It's a Wednesday for goodness sake. And so ... it just goes to show that everywhere is different and for me this is no place for a Table for One.

Mumbai Mania Begins ...

It all began with a simple trip to India ... but is it ever really so simple? Well, in this case ... uhhhh NO.  Let's begin at the beginning of our ten days of torture that includes robbery, fire, armed guards and epic breaking points.

Mumbai ... the Gateway to India and so much more.

Day 1: Entering India from the US we go through security to have cash and two cell phones stolen by AK47 toting security guards. We discover these "losses" shortly after leaving security. I return to confront the guards. Clearly ill advised, but a girl filled with righteous anger isn't concerned with the possibility of automatic weapons and Indian prisons.

Now understand, of course, that women in India going through security get pulled off to the side for a body search behind a curtain, removing your eyes from your belongings and leaving them wide open for pinching hands. Now the security check in and of it self was a comical start as I'm not sure I've had so much detailed interest in my underwire bra before. The metal detector wand goes " whoooooeeeewwwww whoooooeeewwwwp ... whooooeeepp ... whooeeeep" over and over. "Seriously, its a bra ... bra. MOVE ON!"

OK back to the guards ... returning to the security post, I request to know where my phones have gone and that I know they were in my bag when I entered security and now they are not. After quite a bit of indignant conversation I see the phones, and say "There they are! those are mine. Give me my phones."

"Those are you're phones? No they are not, how do you know that?"
"They are mine, I gave you a description, those are them, you removed them from my bag."
"No we didn't."
"Yes, you DID!"
"No we didn't. Why did you leave them here?"
"I DIDN'T leave them here, someone took them from my bag. Those are my phones, give them to me?"
"Can you tell me a description of the phones?"
"The ONES right in front on you on the table ... that's them ... that's the description!"
"Why did you leave them here"
"I DIDN'T!"
"Yes, you did."
"Fine! I left them here, I'm an idiot. Give me my f* phones."
"How do you know they are yours?"
"I'm pretty sure YOU couldn't open them because you don't know the passwords, and I do. So they are now of no use to you, so please give me my phones"

Thus began ... my love affair with India.

Life's adventures

Life's adventures and memories are fraught with hilarity, unbelievability and a whole lot of crazy. I thought why keep these all to great stories to myself, so ... here it goes. Hope you enjoy some new stories and some old as we travel through the unbelievably believable chapters of my life.