Mumbai Mania Begins ...

It all began with a simple trip to India ... but is it ever really so simple? Well, in this case ... uhhhh NO.  Let's begin at the beginning of our ten days of torture that includes robbery, fire, armed guards and epic breaking points.

Mumbai ... the Gateway to India and so much more.

Day 1: Entering India from the US we go through security to have cash and two cell phones stolen by AK47 toting security guards. We discover these "losses" shortly after leaving security. I return to confront the guards. Clearly ill advised, but a girl filled with righteous anger isn't concerned with the possibility of automatic weapons and Indian prisons.

Now understand, of course, that women in India going through security get pulled off to the side for a body search behind a curtain, removing your eyes from your belongings and leaving them wide open for pinching hands. Now the security check in and of it self was a comical start as I'm not sure I've had so much detailed interest in my underwire bra before. The metal detector wand goes " whoooooeeeewwwww whoooooeeewwwwp ... whooooeeepp ... whooeeeep" over and over. "Seriously, its a bra ... bra. MOVE ON!"

OK back to the guards ... returning to the security post, I request to know where my phones have gone and that I know they were in my bag when I entered security and now they are not. After quite a bit of indignant conversation I see the phones, and say "There they are! those are mine. Give me my phones."

"Those are you're phones? No they are not, how do you know that?"
"They are mine, I gave you a description, those are them, you removed them from my bag."
"No we didn't."
"Yes, you DID!"
"No we didn't. Why did you leave them here?"
"I DIDN'T leave them here, someone took them from my bag. Those are my phones, give them to me?"
"Can you tell me a description of the phones?"
"The ONES right in front on you on the table ... that's them ... that's the description!"
"Why did you leave them here"
"I DIDN'T!"
"Yes, you did."
"Fine! I left them here, I'm an idiot. Give me my f* phones."
"How do you know they are yours?"
"I'm pretty sure YOU couldn't open them because you don't know the passwords, and I do. So they are now of no use to you, so please give me my phones"

Thus began ... my love affair with India.