Tonight, I am joined on the train by Gyno Legs 
and Itchy Ear Hair guy. 
Gyno legs is a tiny Asian man sitting across from 
the guy next to me straddling his legs, as you have to do, but clearly 
needs such incredible full clearance, as to not touch, so much so that it seems more natural that he 
should have his legs in stirrups. While Itchy Ear Hair guy ran on the 
train donned in wool from head to toe, sweating and gasping for air. In addition to my sweaty companions dewy exterior merging with mine there is my 
ongoing struggle for arm space, which is complimented by his periodic outbursts
 of singing along with the SMASH soundtrack and quite ferocious ear 
itching. 
Ohhhhhhhh how I love Metro North.  :(
And thank you Jesus he is 
getting off at 125th St!
 
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